There’s more to flirting than cheesy pick-up lines and winking.
There are things that you can do to attract the attention of a special someone – and turn that into something more serious. Lucky for you, we have all the secrets to a good relationship.
Why Flirting Feels Good
When your first meet someone, your brain goes into overdrive. It evaluates and ticks imaginary boxes off of your internal must-have list. Your cortex is sizing up this person as a potential partner. Then emotion kicks in. If you are attracted to that person, your attention becomes like a laser beam on them. Less focus is delegated to other things.
Now the flirting begins.
Dopamine starts flowing – the brain’s reward system for motivation, desire and other goal-oriented behaviours. It allows you to focus your energy on this person. In turn you relinquish yourself to the desire to flirt or respond to flirting techniques. You feel happy and giddy.
Why Flirting Doesn’t Feel Good
What happens when your brain does its initial scan and realises this person is not a suitable match?
A bad feeling sets in. You begin to feel uncomfortable at the thought of this person fulfilling the role of significant other to you. This is associated with a lack of dopamine as a result of the individual’s effect on us. He or she probably triggered an unpleasant reminder of a person or experience.
The absence of a neurological bond means that attachment will cease to develop, and a healthy relationship is unlikely to form. This attachment is crucial to any serious relationship.
Mate Selection Matters
Evolution also bears heavy influence on who we flirt with — which members of the opposite sex we are likely to regard as suitable partners. Through the years, evolution has favoured males who select young, attractive females, and females who select powerful, wealthy males.
Men therefore naturally seek women who are younger than them (or appear younger), and place greater emphasis on physical attributes. While women seek men who have experience and higher income or status.
While this is not in accordance with politically correct sensibilities, it is a reality confirmed in dozens of studies across a diverse range of cultures. Online dating websites where people are more explicit with their requirements also reflect similar findings.
We examine all sorts of information on the Science of Flirting like Is Love Blind?, DNA Dating and much more. Be sure to check out our Flirting Resources section where you’ll uncover successful flirting practices backed by science.